Re: Research Part 2

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Posted by Raymond (other posts) on February 02, 2017 at 07:41:31 Previous Next

In Reply to: Research Part 2 posted by Alan on February 01, 2017 at 18:05:32:

For my fellow long hairs that get grieved on for their long hair, I would like to know why you think people are like that to us. Is it because its "gay", or "girly", or some other reason?

Hey Alan,

I will repeat what I said by way of introduction to my response to the first part of your research:

I am a Catholic priest and I am sixty-one (61) years old. I was fifty-five (55) years old when I began to grow out my hair I am sure that these facts will color my experience in growing out my hair.

What was the motivation for some people to oppose my growing out my hair? I did not perceive that anyone who opposed my growing out my hair thought that by my having long hair I would be perceived as gay. I would have to say that the people who tried to dissuade me from growing out my hair were my brother priests and they were priests who knew me for a long time. Come to think of it they were mostly priests who either had male pattern baldness, i.e. bald on the crown of their head with a horseshoe pattern of hair around the side of their heads or they chose to shave their heads. Their motivation for trying to dissuade me from growing out my hair was generally two-fold:

1. It is drawing attention to myself and thereby it is distracting people away from Jesus.

2. Men, and especially priests do not have long hair.

Some of my brother priests were concerned that my having long hair would cause me to be perceived badly by my bishop; I would "marginalize" myself in my Diocese. Having long hair was not masculine nor was it professional. Now I should mention two (2) things here:

a. My bishop has male pattern baldness and he shaves his head.

b. He told me that if I was going to wear my hair long then I must always wear it tied back so that it would not be a distraction to the people.

My experience has been that with family members, except for my Aunt Eleanor when they first see me with long hair the reaction is, 'Oh, you have long hair. It looks good.' Then life goes on as usual. Even with Aunt Eleanor; after coming from my session with her hair stylist who speaks German and my hair is in a ponytail and a ring bun, she was disappointed when I took my ring bun out. Now I am still Raymond, her nephew who has long hair. This has been my experience with other people who have known me for a long time and they encounter me for the first time with long hair.

When I meet people for the first time and they know that I am a priest and they perceive my long hair it is a non-issue.

I will sometimes be called "Miss" by people in a store or bank situation but I think it is a honest mistake because they see my long hair and will automatically assume that I am a woman. It doesn't bother me; at least my long hair is perceptible.

When I see a fellow male long hair I will usually say, "Hey Bro!" to him. I will sometimes point out to him that, "You and I are long haired bros." I will then turn my shoulder to him and pull out my ponytail from under my collar. We usually both smile.

Your long haired bro,


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